On May 28, Venus entered Taurus and she will remain in Taurus until June 28. She is in her home planet and so what does that mean for us? It means we get to nurture and cultivate our sensuality. If that sounds foreign to you, don’t worry, it’s simply because I have just made a crack in the walls the patriarchy has put up for what it means to be a woman and ultimately a fully functioning human.
You see the society in which we live has programmed women to be a certain way – and that way is more masculine, the only way they understand. And because we were programmed to be more like them, we have lost our feelings, our sensuality, our pleasure. Each of these things does not come as easily to the patriarchy - it is foreign and rather than take the time to cultivate it, they have repressed it and in their process, have made us repress it. Instead, we are dubbed moody bitches and angry witches. Fuck that! We are just that way because theyhaven’t made the space for us to open ourselves. They have confined us to their box and we also have not made the space to open ourselves: out of fear, out of brainwashed programming, out of confusion, out of disconnect from ourselves, disconnect from our bodies, disconnect from our emotions.
This inability to feel translates and dictates all areas of our life. We are numb to the influx of information, of news, of stimulus because it is all too much to bear for our bodies and we just have to keep moving forward. Keep our heads down and push forward.
I was on this path for a long time… But when I dedicated my life to The Ritual and began living the teachings that I shared, this is when life changed. I like to go against the grain and within my life, within my brand I encourage a slower pace, a slower way of living. What I realised is that we cannot expect the people that have pushed us down to save us – it is up to us to change and create the way we live and in the process give others permission to do the same.
One of the practices I adopted is Day of Venus. I first found out about this practice when I was doing my Moon Mother Training and in complete transparency, when I first heard it mentioned I thought it was completely laughable. At that time in my life, I was very into my masculine and I definitely did not need to practise Day of Venus. The first way I was able to even comprehend honouring or even acknowledging this a day to give back to myself was to not do things I didnt want to do. If that meant staying in my pyjamas all day, than I did just that. I did not really think anything of it at the time, but slowly over the years I refined the things that I get pleasure out of. Now with a handful of children thrown into the mix there is some comprising on my behalf that has to be made. I still have to get some work done in the three hours I have child free so currently as I write this I am sitting in a cafe in Mullumbimby sipping a medical hot chocolate and wafting down the second pastry. The rest of my day will be gathering wine, cheeses, things that bring me pleasure that I can devote my afternoon and evening to.
Little did I know that it would become the cornerstone, one of my main and most valuable practices in my life and tools to help me overcome whatever emotional or physical challenges I may be working through.
If you’re not new to The Ritual and my practices and teachings, you will know that I encourage women to indulge on the Day of Venus, Friday. As each day of the week is associated with a goddess or deity, Venus rules Friday. In most languages with Latin origins, like Italian venerdi and French vendredi, the day is named after the fertility goddess, Venus.
In Roman mythology, Venus was the goddess of love, sex, beauty, and fertility. She was the Roman counterpart to the Greek Aphrodite. However, Roman Venus had many abilities beyond the Greek Aphrodite; she was a goddess of victory. And looking even further back we can see in Celtic cultures she was called Freyja the goddess of love, fertility and the battle.
As women living in a world that has been ruled by patriarchy for thousands of years, we have forgotten our value, we have forgotten our place, and we have forgotten that we were once held in the highest regard. In many tribes throughout history, the matriarch ruled. As women we were worshipped, we were queens, consulted for medicine, adorned with jewels, we were the heart of ritual itself, the visionaries. We may have forgotten this power but we are waking up. This is why it is so important that as women we exalt ourselves, every day but most especially on the Day of Venus.
Because when you honour the energy of Venus, you are evoking the feminine, the fertile, the creative forces, the beauty, the compassion, and the love. Friday, the Day of Venus, we look at embodying our divinity through the delight of luxuriating. Luxuriating involves highlighting our sensuality - our senses. Bathing in the delight of self-care and ritual.
One way I encourage women to embody their divinity is to self indulge. Goddess Venus champions the art of luxury, perhaps because the roots of this word mean “grown in abundance,” and Venus is a symbol of abundance, a symbol of excellence. Luxuriating involves highlighting our sensuality—our senses. Bathing in the delight of self-care and ritual. This doesn’t mean splurging beyond your means, this day is to honour yourself in a way that invokes your senses and your pleasure. Let me be clear though that Day of Venus is a practice.
Although some would think, by my carefully curated Instagram page and my apparent love of luxury, that I live in a gilded house, cast spells by moonlight, and wear the most beautiful outfits, full face of makeup and move about a house that looks like it’s been pasted from a magazine, I do not – Luxury is not about how exclusive or expensive something is, luxury is connecting to the things you find exquisite, it is connecting to the equities of life, on your terms. The truth of it all is that most days, I wake up too tired to dress, my hair is often greasy from being outside and tending to my garden in the sunny heat, while taking care of three young girls and a spoiled sausage dog who needs to be fed and cared for. Let me be clear that most of my days are not beautiful, gorgeous or Instagram “worthy” (whatever that means)! They are filled with moments where I struggle to catch my breath, moments where I take time to breathe, and moments where I am not sure if my breath will come. Everyday is different and I allow myself to move with the energies of each day, honouring the power they accentuate in each area of my life.
So on Fridays, I honour Venus.
This is the Day of the Week where I make time to indulge my senses and connect with that which is exquisite to me at that particular time. Over the years, and as a result of my practices within The Ritual, I have learned to practice connecting to my senses to ground me in the present moment, but on Fridays I make it extra special. I will literally follow my bliss and indulge my desires in whatever way they unfold. There are some Fridays where I have the luxury of taking time away from work and away from my children to really be with myself and take in full sensual experiences on my own. This is usually focused around bathing and learning to love my body as that as I am sure most of us can attune to is an ongoing process, especially after children and life threatening illness. I have to remind myself of the power it has and the beauty that lies beneath the softness, scars, lumps and bumps. This is why I focus on creating potions for bathing and the body not for their associated industry but to be tools that help that connection to yourself be a little easier and more indulgent.
As live moves rapidly there are some Fridays that don’t allow for these kind of practices (more than you would think, actually)! So when I do have to work on Fridays, I make sure that I am creating the most beautiful environment to work in, wearing the most beautiful lingerie underneath my clothes or in place of clothing. I allow music that I enjoy to fill my studio space and burn resin or oils that perfume the air in the musky scents I adore. I indulge my senses to the maximum and move slowly, deliberately, with intention. Because giving into beauty and sensuality is a practice of intention and of presence with and for oneself. And it is the most precious and most important practice we can allow ourselves to enjoy in this life that demands so much of us.
So my challenge for you is to begin a Day of Venus practice every Friday from today until (at least) June 28. If this is new to you and feels foreign, overwhelming, fearful even, start small. Maybe your Day of Venus Practice is simply putting on a pair of gold earrings you never wear or wearing the lingerie you only save for special occasions. Over time, build your practice up from there – Venus relishes in abundance! Add in a little something more each week and up the stakes by making it something that feels guilty, or naughty or pleasurable, or playful, or indulgent. The more emotions it lights up within you the better. This practice’s sole purpose is to make YOU feel good. And by practising each week it will become easier, more familiar, essential even, a moment that you’re craving or cannot wait for. And with any luck you’ll enjoy it so much it will become a part of your Rituals throughout your lifetime.
Happy Day of Venus!