There is something I long for. This something that I long for is the reason behind The Ritual, my offerings and the things I share. This something is community.
For most of my time on Earth, I've done things alone. I had to learn independence from a young age: I had to mother myself, fend for myself, teach myself, make money for myself, feed myself… and the list goes on. Unfortunately, I didn't have the support that comes from a stable family; most of the time, I was in a lack mentality and repeating behaviours that I learned from the absence of encouragement and nurturing.
Being independent has its advantages, but it also has its disadvantages. It's wonderfully freeing not to have to rely on or wait on anyone else. Everything is on my terms – the decision is for me alone without anyone (except myself, but I've always been strong-willed) discouraging you. But the disadvantage is that independence can be an equally lonely journey. To not have anyone to rely on, bounce ideas or advice off of means that I've had my fair share of mistakes, setbacks and downfalls.
From the moment I discovered I could attract my circle and create my own coven of like-minded, supportive and empowered women, it has been my goal to build up that realm. I began with myself, chipping away at the paradigm I was living in to create a new one, and with that, I formed the foundations upon which I would build my life and business.
The Ritual has always been a space where I encourage women, empower women, cheer women on as they discover their unique power, tap into their gifts, and step into their Queendom. And I have enjoyed women doing the same for me. My in-person offerings garnered the accolades and sisterhood that I had always wanted.
But the last few years, with everything moving toward the digital space, the online world of developing connections has been confusing to navigate. Within the world of mysterious algorithms, Zoom gatherings beyond time zones, and the surge in everyone's an expert and here's my new course, I've found it challenging to keep up. Sure, on the outside, it may appear all pretty: what with a good-looking feed and fully functioning website, but the truth is I am still one person behind the scenes, navigating the rapidly changing social standards that we hold all business owners to, whilst trying to create unique content that reflects and honours my teachings, my life and my integrity… It's no wonder that most days, I feel like I am a hamster trekking along on a wheel, not getting anywhere – and my business responsibilities are completely separate from my home life of caring for a family that includes three young daughters. To say that being a one-woman show is exhausting is an understatement.
So social media has changed the game, making it easy to shape shift, to make things appear differently than what they are. I am sure that many of you would not guess that this path I am pursuing is a lonely one. I am sure that very few would realise that every Ritual Kit and product made, packed, shipped and sent to all my stockists has been done personally by me. Long nights juggling production and being a full time mother, but I love every minute of it because integrity and truth are more important to me than any amount of money or mass production. That is what makes what I do so enjoyable, I do it on my terms and create things that are real, tangible of the highest quality and hold a vibration, a frequency, they hold the energy I put into every single item. The assumptions made about my business may be that I have an extensive team, access to a group of women directly and that we have managed to get a steady flow with enough content and funds to support us all easily, not everything has been created, crafted and produced in my tiny studio attached to my family home, the size of a car garage.
Most of the assumptions made about me and what I am doing are simply not the case. Although I wish it were, it isn't (yet). And I am not ashamed or embarrassed by any of it because this is what creating something from nothing truly looks like and no matter how big the carrot may be, dangling in your face you have to be the constant driving force, nobody will have the integrity and passion you have for your own creations. You have to find the strength within to ignore those that try to take advantage, or chip away at your edges because of their own issues of self worth and self entitlement.
Some might say that creating content for your business is the most difficult, time-consuming, boring task. And the truth is that it is. It is as tedious and difficult to feel the pressure to create, to produce, to share something unique, truthful, and reflective of the life I lead. What people don't see beyond the final product is that there is often 3-4 hours behind a single post, a series of creations, the preparation, editing and compilation of video clips, all while trying to support a life.
I take those hours out of my day to create a piece, to outline a course or workshop, and prepare kits and potions. The online space has changed the game. And it's made the game all the more frustrating to see people copy your work and even more discouraging not to see that support that I received in person be replicated online. It breaks my heart and has me shrink in tears in moments of utter disbelief.
Obviously a result of comparison, but nonetheless valid in my experience, I feel even more alone in my community when I go online and see women cheering other women on for a new course, offering, or product. Women who have placed various orders with me, joined multiple offerings I have created who do not even mention me to others. I often, very truthfully, find myself wondering what makes my content so difficult to share or credit? Instead, I am often met with people simply taking my work, using the phrases I have crafted from my teachings, the images I have paid for, the products I have created from nothing without any acknowledgement. Sure, this knowledge I share is a return to ancient times; these are ancient teachings and things that we all, in our cores, know and are returning to. BUT, to not recognise or acknowledge where you read something or share the guide behind it – the one that perhaps prompted the ancient rememberings and incited you down the rabbit hole, makes me feel less than. It makes me feel invalid compared to those who charge more money (amounts I can't even afford), run in highschool like clicky IG groups and to be honest, completely change the meaning of core Sabbat Dates and Rituals to fit their agenda. Need I remind you that I see people all over altering the meaning of practices that are Sacred and that, without the internet, you would have had to apprentice to learn over years of shadowing your Mentor to even scratch the surface.
This Sacred Work: honouring the Goddess, the Earth and her Magick, has become commoditised beyond recognition. It has become such a scene that we see individuals screaming in their posts about breaking down the Patriarchy and decolonizing spirituality whilst luring you in to pay thousands of dollars to do their workshop or journey in the exact same field. What an oxymoron!
In order to break down the Patriarchy, or rather, return to Mother-centred living, we must stop feeding into the systems that were bestowed to us. We cannot expect the systems that have oppressed us to save us. If I, an International Teacher, Trainer and business owner, can not afford to be a part of other women's journeys, covens or workshops, not because I don't have an income, but because the cost of living and raising children is at an all time high, then what about those who are far less fortunate than I? I own my own home, my husband has a good job with great pay and we raise our three children together. We eat organic food, and regardless of the trauma and abuse I have suffered, it is nothing compared to what others have faced for generations. How is this ok? How have we allowed this to be acceptable? I understand and acknowledge that certain things need to cost specific amounts, such as certified trainings that give you a working credential, physical products etc. F*ck knows I have spent more than enough on further education, and I will continue to because knowledge is power. But where does that phrase begin and end? When is it that Women start to understand that Sacred Work should always have an exchange but not at the expense of eradicating a whole collective of demographic because of their financial situation? At the same time, we ask ourselves why there is so much crap and false information out there? Why are people saying things like: "I connect with your soul", "I channel from the Divine to your soul"? Nobody is connecting to my soul, that's for freaking sure. Why is there so much bullshit that is simply recycling what they read or heard and mixing it all up in a giant ball of their own projections and assumptions and charging people hundreds/thousands for it?
Here is a thought, perhaps eradicating a demographic based on their financial situation has something to do with that? Perhaps running courses on reclaiming the Mother, reclaiming the Witch and breaking down the Patriarchy whilst asking for thousands of dollars in return and eradicating a whole demographic of Women who are breaking shit down every day just to survive may have something to do with that? Perhaps that's why we are still fighting for the Earth? Because the ones who genuinely fight for a cause, who put the needs of the community above the needs of financial wealth, the ones who fight tooth and nail for the voice of others to be liberated, for justice, for freedom, for peace and for the Earth, are the ones who would be first inline to partake in these journeys and offerings but chose what was true to them over what would bring them a higher pay check. Perhaps they decided not to sell their soul to the Patriarchy and instead chose liberation first. Or maybe they have been so exploited by these systems and suppressed from Man that just trying to put food on the table and keep the custody of their children from their narcissistic, more financially stable father is the best they have right now. But regardless of your why, how are you really helping Women if you exclude the majority of us?
As I navigate this online space, it has been my goal to make things accessible financially as well as educationally. To continue that thread I have woven for years; to ignore the narratives of: spending big and earning big; you have to spend money to make money; your success is defined by financial wealth; don't create from scarcity; act from a place of richness and you will have all the riches... the list goes on. These are all Patriarchal ways of thinking and take us further away from our ancestral roots, the tribal, village culture of sharing, communing and respecting. Money, no doubt, is something we cannot get away from, but it does not have to be replace the Spirit in our communities, the Mother, the centre of everything.
You may not know that for the duration of my offerings, I have worked with skill exchanges, Seva, and the exchange of things outside of money. Whether it be the souls who would water the plants in my past business in exchange for attending my Kundalini Yoga classes or those who would come earlier before my in-person rituals to help set up the space in exchange for attending. To those who offered to spread the word of my work and pay in silver coins so they could have a private session with me, I am truly grateful. As one of my beautiful friends and past clients said to me the other day, "You were there on the front line pulling me out of the trenches when I didn't have money or resources to get help. You met me where I was and pulled me out for months". That is exactly what this work is, on the front line helping pull one another out of the trenches and helping us all find our own liberation through a world that is led, ruled and governed in ways that are far from Sacred. We are meant to be helping pull one another out.
I have so much archived on my website and within the little captions on my posts that are available to all, but that have taken time to put together and create. Without people sharing them, there is no exchange. What I feel oftentimes is that people come to me to take. And that has been an experience that has followed me for most of my life, until now. Why is it that people feel the entitlement to take from me without giving anything in return? And in this respect, I am not solely speaking financially but also for content and knowledge. Most of the time, all I ask is that people share that I exist and to acknowledge the source of the knowledge or insight they received. Simply reposting or tagging is free and easy, it takes no more out of your day than scrolling or watching stories.
Creating a community online is a totally different game than in person, and the game is that much more challenging when you've been alone for most of it. Truthfully, it can be hard to stay focused and held accountable when we are not supported. But I have witnessed and know in my heart that there is power in women coming together and supporting one another – it is the most powerful form of accountability and alchemy we can experience and create on Earth. When women come together to support and uplift, our attitudes and consciousness change. We live a life more awakened, heart-centred and abundant.
The online space still dictates outdated ideas and ways of doing things. And the people running their own businesses and sharing content mostly operate from that mindset and mentality. It's time to change the game. This is a call to action to empower women by supporting and uplifting each other in ALL aspects of our lives.
We are stronger when we come together – see another woman's wins as your wins and yours as theirs. Stop judging and competing and instead offer your hand and heart. We can't find strength in the community of women when we are trying to bring one another down, take from each other without acknowledgement and leave out a demographic that is far larger than the ones targeted. It lacks respect and integrity, sacred pillars on which I hold myself to. So it's time to consider how you are operating in the world and begin making changes that honour yourself and other women. Take my hand, and let's hold each other up. Let's create together a new wave of women and be f*cking raw, honest and god damn truthful.